Monday, August 27, 2012

Navel Gazing

Photo taken by my Mom- you can see the bump in my lap there- it looks like a
beach ball on my lap.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the mental prep for childbirth. I am currently in the
"any day now" stage of pregnancy, and specifically as I went to the Dr. last week and she was pretty sure that labour would start soon. Which of course makes you crazy, thinking about what needs to be done, and how it's all going to go and what it all means, and everyone asking you how you are feeling all. the. time.
Well anyhow- a few days after being told that the baby would possibly be here early- it's still not here- or birthed I suppose I should say. This is fine with me really- a few more nights to get a good rest in, a few more days to do some laundry and to prep the big sister for what's coming, a chance to let my body do it's job without getting induced or forced or whatever, the baby is happy and healthy, I'm healthy, it's all good. But this last week has made me think about what is required to bring this kid out, I mean Labour is really the equivalent of running a marathon stamina wise- you need to be in good shape, and any other little niggle of doubt, or pain or fear is not going to help in the end goal (my end goal is as natural a birth as possible, no pain meds beside laughing gas, and no other interventions that are not strictly needed, just because I think the odds are better health wise for both mama and baby in that situation- less recovery time, better breastfeeding, less complications and grogginess etc).
This time around I am aware of how tired I will be after it all- and how much effort it's going to take, and also I'm aware that I'm bringing a new element into my family life. It's going to be an adjustment, no matter how happy an adjustment, and I'm aware that there are things that make my family run more smoothly; a good sleep schedule, nutritious, plentiful and tasty food, a clean house, a really regular routine, with minimal visits, and fewer planned activities.
So I'm trying to get those things in order- just in case it happens early, remembering to take some time to look inward as well, to prepare myself mentally for the emotional aspect of birth, to give myself some space to breathe, and think, and get calm, and ready and excited all at the same time. To minimize doubts about this (because really it's a bit too late for that right? I'm sort of committed to this whole second child thing now...though putting that extra car seat in was a bit of Woah! moment), to reassure myself that I can do this in any way I have to, that I will be as strong as I need to be, whatever happens. It's a pretty big deal, a pretty big transition to make, and navigate and I want to enjoy that as well, that in between time, when things are just on the cusp of changing, when you have to give up control, and let something else take over.
I'm going to be a bit absent here for a while, at least until the baby comes and then probably after it's here for a 'coupla few minutes' as N would say too- but I will let you know when the new sweet one emerges, I promise.

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