(carrying baby Elmo in a sling- she's very attentive to her babies)N has been having a few tantrums lately, I don't know when it started but suddenly I realized she's not just crying when she doesn't get her way- she's a little out of control. So yesterday I read some advice about them- and I think we're on our way to dealing with them. The main reason for most of her outbursts is when she can't tell us what she wants, you see she has some pretty specific requests, and they're hard to interpret with grunts and hand gestures, which is where she's at. She makes lots of sounds and does a few 'words' (ca for cat- aipe-for diaper), but when she wants things she makes hand gestures or pushes us and moves our bodies to make us see/pick her up/walk over there- she also does a great dismissive wave and head shake if the things we're offering are not what she wants.
And what she wants is not so easy anymore- they're two or three step maneuvers hard to interpret- such as-"oh...you want to get that eraser from the office and put it in the mouth of the doll in the living room the one that sings while you press it's tummy- all while sitting on my lap, not on your own, in this chair- not that chair- definitely not that chair, and I press the tummy, and you put in the eraser, not the other way around, and then we clap". I think she's learning and she's developing these skills and she understands us and I wasn't challenging her enough. I was still at the last stage and she's moved on- moved on to helping wash dishes and counters, to sweeping and dumping flour in the mixer, to making her own art instead of just watching me- and she was getting bored, and then frustrated and then mad.
I need to find new activities for her- I need to challenge her- and seriously at this rate she's going to be keeping me on my toes- I feel sorry for her future teachers. Yesterday I let her help more and I was shocked by what she could do, and at how her attitude changed so much just by me explaining things to her, and asking her things. It's a beautiful thing to see a person grow.
That's really a can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em situation.
ReplyDeleteAh, temper tantrums. Was explaining to eldest how she used to lay on the floor, beating her fists and screaming bloody murder at age 4 or so. She cannot believe it. Simply cannot imagine behaving in that way. A good reminder that the youngest's tantrums are beyond her control and as you've discovered, usually triggered by the feeling of loss of control she has over her own life/body/situation.
On keeping busy...remember that "No Bored Babies" book? Did I leave that with you somewhere? I wonder if you have any sewing lace-up cards? You know. Shoe laces and stiff cardboard or wood with holes punched for lacing and sewing. Ours were in animal shapes, leading inevitably to the "leashed" animal being dragged about.
Hey-it is a beautiful thing to see someone grow! It is also an 'in-your-face' reminder of how sometimes it's not just 'them' that needs to change, but also we need to change. Kids can sure point that out-if we are listening. This is true of all relationships in life, I think, some people are harder nuts to crack is all (name with held...lol) I remember having to "force" each boy off their training wheels...feeling guilty for their cries to keep the wheels on...yet wanting to push them to a new limit. With E it was experimental. With N and W I knew that pushing them was what they needed to take it to the next level. I am glad I didn't give in to their cries. I am happy for you that you have pushed your limits too and crossed over to another perspective. It's tough to see babies grow older but once you get into the groove you will get used to it and want her to do more and more b/c you love her and want her to be the best person she can be!! Like you were once, she has much more to offer the world. Probably unlike Mom, I couldn't wait until you grew up so I could play with you and play with your hair and dress you! (But that was what I wanted) The torture was pure sibling instinct. lol. It's nice to see you now spreading your wings now as a Mom!!! Love you! J.
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